Monday, April 6, 2009

Use In A Sentence

Erap was asked by a gradeschooler to test his english ability.
Kids : Use Deduct, Defense, Detail & Defeat in a sentence.
Erap: (after 15 minutes of silence) DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE,
DEFEAT first, then DETAIL!!

Stuck...

FVR: Sorry I'm late! Brownout! Na-stuck ako sa elevator for 1 hour.
ERAP: Wala 'yan! Ako 3 hours sa escalator...

Effort

Anak: Itay baksak ako sa English recitation!
Tatay: Bakit, ano ba tanong?
Anak: Ano daw ba ang definition ng effort?
Tatay: Anak ano ka ba? ang b**o m o naman effort lang 'di mo pa alam... ang effort ay 'yong nilalandingan ng eroplano!

First Man in the Sun

Russian: We are first to step on Mars.
American: We are first to step on Moon.
Russian-American: How About you Mr. Erap, What have you DONE?
Erap: Me? I'm first to step on SUN!.
Russian-American: But, we can't go to Sun its to hot in there?
Erap:(Naiinis pa) What do you think of me idiot? WE GO THERE AT NIGHT!

Used in a Sentence

1. Use KITCHEN and CURTAIN in a sentence.
...Wag mo akong CURTAIN masa KITCHEN.

2. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
...(phone rings).....Hello? Who
SCHOOLING?

3. Use AFFECT in a sentence.
...Maria is wearing AFFECT diamond
ring.

4. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
...If you are ADIEU, the Arabs will kill
you.

5. Use DECANTER in a sentence.
...You can order that medicine over
DECANTER.

6. Use DELETION in a sentence.
...The balat of DELETION is crispy.

7. Use DESPISE in a sentence.
...Who baked all DESPISE?

8. Use DIFFERENT and DIFFERENTIAL in a
sentence.
...I am looking for DIFFERENT of this
boy to get DIFFERENTIAL
consent so he can go to the picnic.

9. Use BORROW in a sentence.
...Ang dumi naman ng BORROW mo.

10. Use CAESAREAN in a sentence.
...Lintek, anak, mag-ingat ka,
CAESAREAN mo iyang laruan mo.

11. Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
...Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain,
pero, ko-CONTEMPLATE.

12. Use CADET in a sentence.
...CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi.
Ngayon, ikaw naman ang
CADET niya.

13. Use BE COOL and I'LL BUY in a sentence.
...The tourist went to Mayon volcano
in I'LL BUY, BE COOL.

14. Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
...Na CARDIAC yung kotse ni Pedro
noong isang gabi.

15. Use CENTURION in a sentence.
...Na-CENTURION si Pedro ng tatay
niya dahil sa kalokohan niya.

16. Use DEDICATE in a sentence.
...Pag ginamitan ng glue, siguradong
DEDICATE iyan.

17. Use DELICACY in a sentence.
...Bagal mo... DELICACY mahuhuli na
tayo.

18. Use DEPRECIATE in a sentence.
...Sister, DEPRECIATE already, kaya
pwede na tayong kumain.

19. Use DIFFUSION in a sentence.
...Brownout...siguradong DIFFUSION
pumutok.

20. Use LAITY in a sentence.
...Taga "laity" si Imelda Marcos.

21. Use MENTION in a sentence.
...Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang
MENTION.

22. Use ebonic word MOTHA' FUCKA' in a
sentece.
...Anak mag-ingat, ka baka MOTHA' FUCKA'.

Lasing

Isang lasing nasalubong ang matabang babaeng may aso...
Lasing: Hoy, san mo nakuha 'yang baboy?
Babae: Aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: Wag kang sumabat! 'Yong aso ang kausap ko!

Matapang

Pasyente: Doc takot ako sa bunot eh!
Dentista: Heto gamot pampalakas ng loob.
Pasyente: (uminom ng gamot)
Dentista: Matapang ka na ba?
Pasyente: Oo doc, 'pag may gumalaw sa ngipin ko gugulpihin ko!

Nag-hire ng Driver

Pedro: Ba't ka malungkot,pre'?
Juan: Ang asawa ko, nag-hire ng driver, gwapo, bata at macho.
Pedro: Ba't nagseselos ka??
Juan: NAGTATAKA LANG AKO, KASI WALA NAMAN KAMING SASAKYAN EH!!!!

A Dentist's Joke

Isang araw nagpunta si Maria sa Dentista. Pag upo sa silya biglang tinanggal ni Maria ang panty sabay bumukaka.

Nagulat ang dentista at sabi kay Maria: "Oi Maria, dentista ako, hindi ako OB-GYNE".

Sagot ni Maria, "Alam ko po Doc, pero di ba kayo gumawa pustiso ng mister ko, so please paki tanggal lang po!!!

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