Saturday, January 30, 2010

Not Expected

Lester went off on a country trip, but had gone only three blocks before he realised that he had left his call cards on the coffee table. He went back home and quietly went into the house. His wife was at the sink in a filmy negligee. She was so inviting that he sneaked up behind her and put his hand on her breast. Without turning round she said:

"Just one litre will do today, thanks. Lester's away on a trip for the rest of the week."

Friday, January 29, 2010

When Money Died and Went to Heaven

A 10 dollar bill, a 5 dollar bill, and a 100 dollar bill all die and go to heaven. God sees the 1 dollar bill and says he's been good, so he let him in. He also let the 5 dollar bill in for being good. When the 100 dollar bill went up to him, God said "Hmm, well I never see YOU in church."

Monday, January 18, 2010

GMA jokes

Republika ng Peke
Peke nga produkto
Peke mga basketbolista
Peke mga gamot
Peke mga dokumento
Peke mga suso
at syempre
PEKE ANG PRESIDENTE.

GMA saved from near death. She asked the man who save her what reward he wants.
Man: Wheelchair po!
GMA: Bakit wheelchair 'di ka naman lumpo?
Man: Kasi po kapag nalaman ni Itay na sinagip kita, lulumpuhin niya ako!

GMA kidnapped by terrorist demanding 5 million ransom or will set her
on fire. Any donations appreciated. So far, 200 gallons of gasoline
received and still increasing.

GMA met Obama.
Obama: Our Filipino chef at the White House is truly great!
GMA: Yup! Magaling talaga kami sa “LUTUAN.”

Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang scam!

GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! winnie santos mama, wiz na sori mama eclavou na ever! na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! maldita ka talaga vruha ka! eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate..
GMA: osha ba, matsala, may premyado ka iha!

Bike Lanes

BF: Mam, pag na-install na ang mga BIKE LANES along EDSA, JOSE PIDAL
ang itawag natin. PGMA: Masyadong halata naman. Maganda kung BIKE
ARROYO!

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